


Kai Winn is a Karen

by Astrarian



Series: Writer's Month, August 2020 [22]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Writer's Month 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26094586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrarian/pseuds/Astrarian
Summary: No-one works at a pet shop for long without learning that some people are appalling and have no regard for animals beyond cuteness and convenience.Kai Winn is a Karen in a pet shop. Jadzia has to deal with her. Winn obviously escalates the situation by asking to see the manager.(Writer's month 2020 - Day 22: pet shop AU)
Series: Writer's Month, August 2020 [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861909
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	Kai Winn is a Karen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [esmejasper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmejasper/gifts).



> what have I done (this has put me days behind in the daily challenge lmao)

It’s a slow morning. Jadzia doesn’t hate it considering the one hundred percent certainty that the shop will get frenetic at some point during the day. It’s inevitable in the same way that Julian making doe eyes at her is inevitable. Miles is on the tills, Nerys is in the back and the rest of the staff are occupying themselves with other tasks.

With her and Nerys’s shifts overlapping, Jadzia has a little less managerial responsibility for now, and she heads to the mammal section for her favourite part of the day, which is playing with the ferrets: specifically one ferret, Dax. Jadzia discovered her in a box outside the shop one evening two months previously, somewhat malnourished and clearly abandoned. No-one works at a pet shop for long without learning that some people are appalling and have no regard for animals beyond cuteness and convenience. The fact that some of those people leave animals on their doorstep because that apparently makes abandonment more acceptable is not really a point in their favour.

Jadzia took to the ferret immediately, probably because she was the one to find her. But the ferret took to her as well. In fact, Dax is exceptionally clingy, exclusively for Jadzia. It’s a little bit of a problem, actually: Jadzia’s the only one who can really handle her, and Dax prefers Jadzia over not only all of the other staff but over every customer as well.

If Dax was a person the behaviour would wind Jadzia up. But Dax is a ferret, and surprisingly, Jadzia really enjoys having Dax on her shoulder, and she also enjoys the reaction she gets from customers when she offers assistance with a ferret on her shoulder.

Jadzia named her Dax purely because she’d watched the black-and-white film _Paths of Glory_ the previous night and the ferret’s grey and silver colourly reminded her of it. She also likes needling their onsite veterinarian Julian with knowledge of topics he knows nothing about, since he acts like something of a know-it-all. Stanley Kubrick films definitely qualify as something he has no clue about.

Dax scampers to the front of her cage and leaps in Jadzia’s arms as soon as the door’s open, nimbly avoiding Jadzia’s store tablet. Jadzia smiles at the affection, talking to Dax in a soft voice as she wriggles excitedly. Honestly, Jadzia’s thinking more and more seriously about adopting the little thing herself since they’re having no joy in selling her.

The shop’s still quiet even after a few minutes, so she decides to visit Julian and shifts Dax to her shoulder. She doesn’t always have the patience for Julian, on account of the aforementioned self-satisfaction and also his general demeanor of wide-eyed youthfulness. He also has a crush on her, which is irritating, though she tries not to show how tedious she finds it. Most of the time all she can think of when she looks at him is that he’s incredibly young.

She can see him at the back on the boundary of the in-store vet clinic, apparently browsing their own products. He’s seen them a hundred times before, so he’s either bored or looking for her. Probably both, given how quiet it is.

She clasps her hands behind her back and saunters towards him, feeling a little playful. When he spots her, he gawks slightly. She shouldn’t tease him—but she really is bored. 

Before she quite reaches him, she hears the squeak of the automatic doors opening. She glances towards the shop entrance, but given the in-store veterinary clinic is located towards the back of the store, she doesn’t see anything except a rectangle of daylight which confirms that the doors have opened.

She takes the given opportunity and tosses a smile in Julian’s direction, shrugging. “Duty calls,” she mouths.

Julian looks crestfallen. Jadzia shakes her head to herself as she turns away. She walks through the shop, scans the aisles for the customer.

“Excuse me,” she hears as she passes through the bird section, and she turns in the direction of the voice. An older woman starts walking towards Jadzia, looking severe, and Jadzia instantly marks her expression down as _disagreeable_. The other things that stick out are her asymmetrical haircut and her elaborate earring.

It happens that she has stopped beside the parrots. Out of the corner of her eye she sees their most intelligent parrot, Odo, stepping along his perch, clearly looking at her. Odo is not like their fish or reptiles, which are at best only vaguely aware of humans. Odo is completely aware of people, in particular speech. He’s a good imitator, which the staff enjoyed as a fun trick just as much as anyone else, right up until they realised that a group of teenagers who frequently visited were doing so because they were teaching the parrot how to curse.

They kicked the teens out, but the damage was done. Now there’s a sign permanently attached to Odo's cage that states, “My previous owner taught me some rude words. I may not be suitable as a family pet. We apologise for any offense caused.”

Odo has no tact, because he’s a parrot. Arguably he doesn’t fully understand the shocked reactions he gets when he repeats swear words. But he’s definitely aware that they create reactions. The sign is the best they can do, because there are no child-free areas in the shop, but at this point it seems unlikely they’ll ever sell him. 

“Can I help you?” Jadzia replies cheerfully to the customer, forcing a smile.

The woman’s eyes flicker to the ferret on Jadzia’s shoulder and she recoils ever-so-slightly. Jadzia is careful not to let her smile change, but she becomes all the more wary.

“I want to buy a snake,” the woman says. 

“Snake,” Odo squawks.

The woman jolts and glares at the bird. Jadzia develops a bad feeling about this.

“It’s for my Sunday school class,” the woman goes on.

“Okay,” Jadzia says, waking her store tablet from sleep mode. “I’m happy to help with that. Do you know what kind of snake you’d like?” She pulls up a customer details form. “Have you owned snakes before? Can I ask how old the children are?”

“I don’t see why that’s relevant,” the woman says, and from her tone it’s clear she doesn’t want an answer.

“Well, some snakes can make good pets, but they do need to be handled carefully because they can be fairly fragile. We recommend they’re more suitable for older children and adults.”

“My students will be fine,” the woman says dismissively.

“Bullshit,” the parrot squawks.

There’s a beat of shocked silence between them all, and then—

“Bullshit,” Odo squawks again.

“Did that parrot just swear at me?” the woman snaps.

“I’m very sorry, he’s not swearing at you,” Jadzia apologises. She points at the sign on Odo’s cage, feeling the tips of Dax’s claws dig into her shoulder through her shirt. “He came to us like this,” she lies. At least she’s used to explaining it. “His previous owner had a… choice vocabulary.” 

“Fuck off,” Odo says.

Jadzia’s used to that as well.

The woman flushes with rage. “It’s completely inappropriate for a bird that can _swear_ to be on sale. What about the children who come in?”

Jadzia can’t help that her mood switches just like that. _Won’t somebody think of the children?_ her brain squeals in faux-outrage, mimicking the woman, and she barely manages to suppress laughter. She presses her lips together.

“Why don’t we go over to the snakes and talk more about what snake you’re looking for and what you need to buy?” she suggests, pointing up towards the ‘Reptiles’ sign hanging over said section.

The woman’s face twists again. Her flaws are becoming apparent, but one thing she apparently isn’t is dense. She sees right through Jadzia’s expression. “I think you should be ashamed of yourself,” she says, with a sneer that definitely rubs Jadzia up the wrong way, and then turns on her heel, stalking towards the reptile section.

Odo squawks, “Bullshit,” again as she walks away. Jadzia half-glowers and half-smirks at the bird before heading after the customer. If she’s going to take Dax home with her, perhaps she should take Odo as well. At the very least she’d never be without a source of entertainment, and the language doesn’t bother her—she’s heard and said worse in certain company…

Jadzia reaches up to support Dax on her shoulder and then lengthens her stride rather than running to catch up with the customer. The woman glares at her briefly over her shoulder and Jadzia gets the impression this has somehow annoyed her.

Too bad Odo’s language hasn’t driven the woman all the way out of the shop (in fact, she can hear him still croaking, “Bullshit,” and, “Fuck off,” to himself). Jadzia’s feeling that this is going to end badly is growing.

“You’ll need a vivarium and a heater for a snake,” Jadzia says once they reach the reptile section. “Which species were you thinking of again?”

Crossly, the woman says, “Just a snake. They’re all the same as far as my purpose goes.”

Jadzia bites down on the urge to start with, “Actually,” and says, “The size of vivarium and what conditions you keep it at change depending on the species of snake,” she says. Feeling reluctant, she adds, “I’d suggest a corn snake. They’re suitable for beginners, they don’t grow to huge sizes, and in the worst case scenario they’re quite popular if you ever feel like taking care of them is too much.”

To her surprise, the woman acquiesces to the suggestion. Jadzia’s unease doesn’t go away though. “Okay, I’ll need to take your details,” she says, deciding to skip the part where she explains the equipment and starts recommending products until she’s actually sure this woman should be purchasing a snake. “I’ll need your name and address, please.”

The woman’s expression goes back to her norm: affronted. “What? Why?”

Dax digs her claws into Jadzia’s shoulder.

“We need to take details of where any animal sold goes to.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Jadzia flicks her eyes up. _Aha._ “It’s part of our license as a pet shop,” she explains.

The woman bristles and says, “I want to speak to your manager.”

Jadzia raises her eyebrows. She shouldn’t even do that, but even though this woman will regret that request because Nerys is much more tempestuous than Jadzia, it’s embarrassing to have that card pulled on her. “I’m an assistant manager,” she says evenly. 

“I want the store manager,” the woman says, narrowing her eyes. Jadzia realises again that she’s certainly not dense. 

“The deputy manager is here. She’ll tell you the same thing.”

“I want the store manager,” the woman says again, deliberately over-enunciating as if Jadzia is stupid.

She may not be dense, but she’s one hundred percent disagreeable.

Jadzia clenches her jaw briefly. “The store manager isn’t here, but of course you can see the deputy,” she says as neutrally as she can. “Do you want to follow me?”

The woman does. “The manager is Kira Nerys,” Jadzia says. “I’ll have to tell her your name.”

The woman says something that sounds a lot like Karen and Jadzia presses her lips together again to suppress a bark of disbelieving laughter. “Karen?” Jadzia repeats.

“Kai Winn,” the woman snaps, deliberately over-enunciating again.

“My apologies,” Jadzia says insincerely, wondering if her eyebrows have permanently travelled off her forehead yet. If she’s a Kai… not only is that vaguely unsettling as far as her opinion of religious leaders goes, but it also means she still doesn’t have the woman’s full name.

Julian pops his head out of his clinic while they walk past, and Jadzia hopes he won’t try to talk to the woman while she waits. She leaves Kai Winn at the door and heads into the back, reaching up to stroke Dax’s soft head to calm her frustration as soon as she’s safe. Flushing, she finds Nerys at one of the computers.

“Hello, Jadzia?” Nerys says, looking at her expectantly. Her eyes flicker between Jadzia and Dax, but she doesn’t have time to remark on the ferret’s presence before Jadzia speaks.

“A customer wants to speak to you,” Jadzia says. She explains the facts of the situation quickly. Her tone says everything else.

Nerys straightens her back and sets her shoulders. “I’ll deal with it. You should stay here with Dax.”

Jadzia smirks and nods. She’ll still be able to hear everything from here.

“Are you the store manager?” she hears Kai Winn say as soon as Nerys pushes through the doors to the shop floor. Jadzia shuffles closer to the doors, picking an angle that lets her see both their heads through the small square of glass. 

“I’m the deputy manager,” Nerys says.

“I want to speak to the store manager.”

Jadzia’s angle means she also sees that Julian has come out of the vet clinic again and is pretending to browse the shop products once more. He’s the very antithesis of furtive. However, his obvious eavesdropping is also not Nerys’s priority.

“The store manager is on a spiritual retreat,” Nerys says through audibly gritted teeth, and Jadzia bites her lip to keep from laughing aloud. 

“That’s not good enough.”

“I’m afraid it’ll have to be,” says Nerys. Jadzia can imagine her toothy smile. “My colleague has explained the issue. My understanding is that you want to buy a snake but you don’t want to give us your details.”

“You don’t need them,” Kai Winn says. As if that’s an answer.

Nerys doesn’t quite laugh in her face. “Yes we do. We can’t sell any animals without knowing where that animal is going.”

“I can take my business elsewhere,” the woman says.

Jadzia practically hears Nerys _not_ say, “Please do.” Instead, she says, “Before you do that, Kai, I would suggest you think about whether you actually want to buy a snake. I wouldn’t recommend that you buy an animal that requires that much care and attention.”

The Kai gasps at the veiled insult. “How dare you,” she spits.

“I don’t dare. Our job is to sell animals to people who we think are capable of caring for them. We’re legally required to record all the details of any animals sold. All pet shops are, you won’t find a legitimate one that doesn’t. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to contribute to any illegal trade.”

An icy silence falls between them.

“I’ll be complaining to your upper management,” Kai Winn says.

Nerys does laugh then. “This is a company-wide, legally required policy, Kai. And with your attitude? This shop wouldn’t sell you any animal even if you changed your mind and gave me your life story right here and now.”

Jadzia sees Kai Winn glower at Nerys and then raises her chin stubbornly. “That’s outrageous. I didn’t come here to be insulted by the likes of you.”

“You came here to buy a snake and you aren’t getting one,” Nerys says, abruptly out of patience and amusement. “If you’d like to make a complaint, please do call our customer services team.”

“I will,” the Kai snarls, though Jadzia guesses it’s just bravado. It will take no effort to determine that they’re legally in the right—and ethically too, she feels, though that’s not likely to be the take-home message for the Kai.

The woman turns on her heel and strides out of the shop. She doesn’t actually storm out, because there isn’t enough swearing for that, although as Jadzia pokes her head out of the back she can hear that Odo hasn’t actually stopped cursing. It’s somewhat appropriate, she thinks, as she stares at the back of Kai Winn’s departing head and supposes it’s exactly what the disgruntled woman is thinking.

Nerys puts her hands on her hips and turns an aggrieved expression on Jadzia, eyes wide.

Jadzia shrugs helplessly, and scratches Dax’s head reassuringly. “I know.”

“I hope we never see her again,” Nerys says through gritted teeth.

“She’d have to be bold to come back.”

“Well, she didn’t lack for _boldness_ ,” Nerys spits. “I hope she doesn’t…” She sags slightly, shaking her head, and Jadzia agrees with the sentiment. Hopefully the woman doesn’t go and find some terrible, unregulated way to buy a snake. Hopefully she realises that simply using a stuffed toy and her own voice will put the fear of God into her poor Sunday school students.

Julian sidles up to them, eyes wide. “So much for a quiet morning,” he says.

In the distance, Odo squawks, “Bullshit!”

**Author's Note:**

> I thought way too hard about this lol. I guess Winn is a weird Christian-Bajoran hybrid? I couldn’t think of a Bajoran equivalent to Sunday school ha. But she’s still a Kai and she still has the earring.


End file.
